It's been a while. My last post was back in February, and it's now the end of May. Writing has been a priority for me for a few years now, and I mostly keep up with the habit. Except for the last 3 months. I even listed this as an Area of Focus for 2015. And I still didn't write.

Which makes me wonder why? Why was I ok to play hundreds of games of Heroes of the Storm, but not willing or eager to sit down and write. I enjoy both activities, but one actively improves me. The other is just filler. It's stress relief. Things have been stressful.

That's just an excuse, though. I know full well that one of the best ways to relieve stress is to simply write about it. A study in New Zealand showed this clearly, but the mind is a funny thing. I can happily choose to ignore the information that doesn't support my path. Confirmation bias sucks.

What started my broken habit is surprising, easily preventable, and dead simple. I lost my most important notebook. This was my Must, Should, Want notebook. I have plenty of notebooks, but I lost the one that was only a third filled; the notebook carried my momentum and focus. For weeks I looked for it, and for weeks I stopped doing a lot of Shoulds. Sometimes I didn't do the Wants. I still did ok with the Musts. But I was, at best, just doing ok. Ok isn't good enough.

This shows the power of planning and putting down the priority of just a single item that absolutely will get done. Often writing is a Should, defined as:

What should I do to build a better future?

Coping with stress, clarifying my thoughts, engaging in interesting conversations all are part of a better future. I neglected all of this for months, and I regret it now looking back. I should have immediately picked up another notebook and protected my momentum.

I found my notebook the other day. It slipped itself inside another book, nicely hidden from view. I hope I'm back to writing regularly. I really missed it, but I still don't know why I need a notebook to keep me motivated. I'd like to figure that out.