I have sat down to write and made excuses countless times over the last few months. I blame the tool. I think about better ways to do things. I fire up an application, begin writing, close it out of frustration. I don't know how many times I've done this. I'm stuck in a loop.
And tonight as I sit here I find that I must ask, "Is it really the tool?"
Is writing in my web browser, in this awkwardly framed window on Squarespace bad? Does it maintain my flow? Is my train of thought staying on the rails? Am I producing a message that resonates from my jumbled thoughts? Yes, it does.
It isn't the tool.
I can write with anything. I can use a Markdown editor. I can use Draft. I can write in Word or Google Docs. It doesn't matter. Let me repeat this: It doesn't matter.
Am I writing? Yes. Then it doesn't matter.
Am I publishing? Yes. Then it doesn't matter.
But why does it feel like it matters so much? Why do I prop up this excuse and prevent myself from doing something I constantly tell myself I want to be doing? That's the real question I'm asking now. It isn't the tool. It's me. What am I avoiding?
I don't have an answer. I'm really working hard at asking the questions I need to and staring at them without considering the answer. The best moments in life come when I sit quietly and feel a question. Eventually, just maybe, the answer will come to me, but it isn't important. What's important is that I'm just doing what needs done, regardless of the tools I have in front of me.